Christians are straight up FREAKS
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
