he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
