Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
