He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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