I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
this hospital has no fireball
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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