my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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