okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
