Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
