At least make sure they are 18
Why
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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