I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's shark week go big or go home
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
