u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
