The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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