tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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