But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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