Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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