Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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