So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
