People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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