I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
