i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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