We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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