My brain says no but my pants say off.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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