Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
