i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
