this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The air taste purple.
Randomize
