Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
