I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
