Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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