the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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