if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize