that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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