evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
