i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
