he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
