You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
