Whod you bang
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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