Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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