She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
