There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
