No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
