Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
