This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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