Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
