she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
