This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
