if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
