Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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