I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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