i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Green mimosas i think yes
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
