Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
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