You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
