at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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