did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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