is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
