we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
