We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
