dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
