and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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