There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
