She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
