what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
