oh god the rape fog is back!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
