Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
